


Disappear

by Bullheaded25



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Song fic, jonsa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 18:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9561992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bullheaded25/pseuds/Bullheaded25
Summary: Jon and Sansa come to terms with their feelings towards one another. They have retaken Winterfell from the clutches of Ramsay Bolton and are currently remodeling the parts of the castle that he ruined. Sansa still cannot sleep, but finds comfort in Jon. I have never written Jonsa so please tell me how I did and if you like my perception of them!! I was inspired to write this when I watched a fan video (link in my story) and it is based on a song, "Disappear" by Mikky Ekko.





	

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGOcYBa7miU - Seriously watch! 
> 
> As stated in summary, please let me know how I did writing the characters I have not written them before. I plan to write more Jonsa so I want to make sure I have a good perception of them! Thank you for reading!!

Sansa laid on her back. Her bed in Winterfell was no longer the small four poster, but a full size bed. She no longer shared a room with Arya - though she would be happy to if her sister were to ever return - and Sansa had several candles lit all around her chambers. She did not like the dark, not anymore. If it was dark and she was in Winterfell, then she would not be able to see Ramsay coming towards her. 

No, Sansa told herself, breathing in and out slowly to calm herself. 

“Ramsay is dead,” Sansa said out loud to herself. “Jon beat him within a second of his life and you fed what was left to his hounds, Sansa. He is dead and you will never see him again.”

Ghost perked up from the end of her bed and looked at her. Jon had told Sansa to keep Ghost at her side until Brienne was back, he did not want her alone, but he could not be with her every moment of the day. They nearly were, though, and Sansa desperately wanted to stay in Jon’s chambers with him at night, but she was afraid that she was starting to annoy him. 

Jon has been very kind to her since she made it to the Wall. They had spent day in and day out at each other’s side, forming trust and forming a new relationship each for themselves and the other. Sansa was so happy to have Jon. She has been so alone for so long. 

 

_ Every time I close my eyes _

_ I feel I cannot turn back _

 

Sansa groaned in frustration. She was exhausted. She had hardly slept in days and her maids had pointed it out to her in front of Jon as they rewrote Winterfell’s historical documents in the library. Jon demanded she does whatever it takes for her to sleep and to tell him if she needed anything. His soft gray eyes, so much like her father’s, were gentle towards her and caring. Jon was one man that Sansa did not flinch away from, and the one person in Winterfell she ever wanted to be with. 

They had learned in the Crypts the night they retook Winterfell and that Jon was not Eddard Stark’s bastard, but instead, Sansa’s Aunt Lyanna’s son. Jon was a Targaryen; he had grimaced when he found out and did not speak for several hours. The first thing he said was to Sansa, and it was that he did not want to take his legitimate name. He wanted to stay a Snow. His home was the North, his family was the North, and he was not a Targaryen by any means other than his father, Rhaegar. 

Sansa had pointed out, shocking herself as she did so, that Jon would have to turn down the Mother of Dragon’s eventual marriage proposal now that they were related. She remembered vividly Jon’s expression when she said that, he grinned, then his brows furrowed. Sansa had continued to talk -  _ rambling _ , really. She said that nothing was wrong with cousins or more distant relatives but she wasn’t fond of an aunt and nephew relationship no matter how little it mattered to Targaryens. 

To relieve the awkwardness , or was it only awkward for Sansa? Jon made a jape about her face matching the color of her hair. His smile had been nice, and Sansa hoped that Jon had not realized what Sansa suddenly had. She loved Jon. It was something she had not felt before. She had loved her father similarly, but all she wanted was to hold Jon or have him hold her. She wanted to be with him every day until her last day. But the North does not know that Jon is not her half-brother, and they had not decided if they were going to tell the North quite yet. 

 

_ Every time I close my eyes _

_ I want to fall back into you _

 

Sansa stood. Ghost sat up on her bed immediately. He watched her as she slipped into a fur robe, covered her feet in soft night shoes and grabbed a candle. She did not know where she got her courage from. But she snapped for Ghost to follow her. 

The room Sansa was staying in was the room she shared with Arya before. The room Jon slept in used to be Rob’s. He did not want the Lord’s chambers, but it was also being rebuilt. Jon insisted on changing every part of the castle that Sansa wanted to avoid, would give her terrors, or otherwise upset her. He wanted this to be a home to her again, and people should not be afraid in their own home, he had said. 

Sansa saw the door she knew Jon slept behind and paused. Ghost was excited to see his master’s chambers and led her the rest of the way to the door. Sansa breathed in a shaky breath, and knocked. There was nothing. She tentatively knocked again. 

“Yes?” Jon called back, his voice thick with sleep. 

“I’m so sorry, I -”

“Sansa?” 

Sansa heard movement from behind the door. He walked into something and cursed, then the door flung open. His chest was bare and he was only in his small clothes. Sansa felt her face flush.

“Is everything alright, Sansa?” There was nothing but worry in his eyes.

“I’m sorry -” she suddenly felt very stupid for coming to his chambers. “I just… I just wanted to stay in here tonight.” She mumbled. “But it’s stupid, I’ll go -”

She turned, embarrassed for waking him but Jon grabbed her wrist. 

“Let me light a few candles, but please stay. I would like if you stayed.”

Sansa had a bubbling feeling in the pit of her stomach and she nodded. Jon hurriedly lit four candles around his chambers then waved her in. Sansa had not seen him bare chested before, well, not since they were young children. Jon had grown into a very handsome man. He was by no means very tall, but still taller than Sansa. He had a pale olive skin tone and freckles over the back of his shoulders and on his side. He also had several scars all along his front, and one directly over his heart. Sansa had heard of Jon’s brothers betraying him and killing him. Anger grew in Sansa for those men.

“Are you okay?” Jon asked, grabbing her hand in his. Sansa looked down at their hands and wondered if it had shocked Jon’s skin as well.

“Y-yes,” Sansa said. “I.. Well, I was just thinking about those men who betrayed you and -”

Jon half smiled. “Don’t pay them any mind, Sansa.” 

He pulled her over to his bed and laid down in between two of his furs. Sansa knew that Jon planned to sleep under different furs so that they would not touch, but Sansa wanted to touch. She crawled into bed under the same fur as him and was pleased to see his cheeks turn pink. 

“Sansa -”

Sansa bit her lip for a moment. She was afraid to say what she wanted to, it was very bold and Sansa was not usually bold. 

“I want to hold you,” she told him quietly. “I just want to be in your arms and to have mine around you.”  

 

_ So long, fresh breath of innocence  _

_ So long to the life we used to know _

 

Jon stared at her for long while. She saw his eyes dart to her lips then back to her eyes. She smiled shyly and Jon smiled back. 

“I really shouldn’t,” he said, but it was more as if he telling himself. And not a second later, he scooted towards her and circled her in his strong arms. Sansa breathed out deeply, instantly relaxing. She draped her arm over his torso and put her nose to his shoulder, closing her eyes. 

 

_ ‘Cause everytime I close my eyes _

_ I want to disappear with you _

_ And I hope you want to disappear, too _

 

“Jon,” Sansa mumbled. 

“Mmm?”

“Will you kiss me?”

Jon pulled back and gaped at her. “You -”

“I want you,” Sansa mumbled. She did not meet his eyes. When she did, her stomach jumped. “I want you until my last day.. It’s okay if you don’t want to, if you don’t want me. I just can’t stop thinking about it.”

“I do want you,” Jon replied, searching her eyes with his own. “I just did not think you would want me.. I am not worthy of a lady, I’m just a -”

“But you’re not!” Sansa urged, more loudly than she had meant. “You aren’t a bastard, and you definitely aren’t to me.” Jon did not say anything, just stared at her chin. “Will you kiss me, then?” She asked, inwardly groaning when her voice cracked. She just wanted him, want his lips pressed against hers.

Jon cupped her face with either hand and pressed his lips to her’s, he also seemed to be unable to stop himself. They simply kissed with just their lips for a while, soaking in the feeling of them touching. Them, Jon gently bit her bottom lip and she gasped. Jon took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, leaning over her now. Sansa moaned into the kiss. Jon pulled away.

His steel eyes were glossed over and he stared at her in wonderment. Sansa felt very self conscious all of a sudden. Jon was looking at her like he had never seen her before. _ He really is beautiful, _ she thought and she smiled at him as he looked over her face and curled his fingers in her copper hair. 

“I love you, Sansa.”

Sansa gasped slightly, searching his eyes to see if it were true. She let out a giggle.

“What?” Jon asked, half nervous, half laughing. 

“I love you, too,” she answered. She picked her head off the pillow and met his lips with her own. Jon smiled against her mouth and stroked her cheek with his thumb. 

The two fell asleep in each other’s arms, Sansa using his chest as a pillow. They slept like that every night except the one before they married over a year later. 

 

_ ‘Cause everytime I close my eyes _

_ I want to disappear with you _

_ And I hope you want to disappear, too _


End file.
